Let me present the brief description of the last three personality disorders. They represent children, which were forced to “accept” their fate as an engulfed or rejected individual or were already born as disconnected.
* Please note, that this is not intended to be a complete description of the disorders, but a simple explanation of the causes, based on Integration theory. For better understanding you may also read these posts: From a child to a (un)happy adult and When childhood went awry – personality disorders.
Dependent Personality Disorder
- Subconscious level: Rejection is not the only way the Integration may go wrong, on the other side of the healthy connection lies engulfment (enslavement) – rejection’s opposite but equally evil and disastrous. This is what happened to Dependents, who as children were convinced that they are incapable to live as an independent person and can only exist as an extension of someone else. This could be caused by repeated humiliation and mocking, or by over-protection by possessive caregiver. External conditions, like a chronic illness may facilitate development of the disorder.
- Conscious level: Inability to live alone. A dependent person feels inept to do anything on his own, needs other to do things for him or provide guidance. Will do anything to have a person who will take care of him. Is haunted by fear of being left alone and resulting, imaginary, dare consequences. The sufferer is therefore trapped between dreadful, death-alike independence and safe but detested enslavement.
Sociopathy (part of Antisocial Personality Disorder, also called secondary psychopathy)
- Subconscious level: Sociopaths were openly rejected, abandoned or abused in a very young age. The only viable survive strategy for them, was to accept the rejection. Sociopaths removed almost all ties with the World, not hiding vulnerable personality structures, but cutting them off as much as possible. They feel betrayed by the World and see World as something „evil” not worth integration with.
- Conscious level: Indifference in contact with other people that can easily turn to aggression. They usually do not feel an emotional connection with people, won’t respect social norms and won’t keep obligations. May be prone to hurting others without regret – not only because of lack of connection, but they can feel others as evil and deserving punishment.
Psychopathy (part of Antisocial Personality Disorder, also called primary psychopathy).
- Subconscious level: Psychopaths lack working Integration structures at all or almost at all. They see the World as alien and unfamiliar, there is no relation to it, neither positive nor negative. No childhood trauma or rejection was present, psychopaths were born like this.
- Conscious level: Absence of any relational emotion like shame, love, envy, regret, awe, guild, compassion. Lack of emotional constrictions makes them extremely skilful manipulators. Psychopaths do not understand relational emotions, but they learn it intellectually and can become very convincing imitators. They are constantly haunted by severe, almost painful, boredom and do anything to keep themselves occupied. Are dangerous like sociopaths or even more, but are less impulsive, so they break law less often.